Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The Very Sensitive Subject No. 1: Virginity

The term virgin can be easily be put into words that labels a guy/girl had never made love before. They say you can see whether she's a virgin or not, to see whether there's fresh blood from the you-know-where, but that alone can't really evaluate the whole picture. The reason? Lost of hymen (or the berry, suggested by some you-know-what site), either due to sports, or just that it wears off over time due to activities (or non-existent at all). I'm not a sex doctor, but the first reason is pretty reasonable. For the girls on the guys, I can't really give any recommendations on how to check them out.

But in this modern society, there're still some people that weighs virginity heavily. Yes, it's important to be loyal to your current partner, but what if it was done in the past? Perhaps it was just due to naivety, satisfying your another partner, or just for the fun of it. Stupidity can almost never come into the picture, because what you did at that time is probably the right thing to do, for giving in. Does that give the excuse for you to have the impression that the guy/girl is just oh-so-tainted and dirty? Heck, no, or yes. Mixed reactions, you may have, because this subject is very subjective. The term 'virgin' is so important and strong to some that it can simply shred off a long-term relationship in the matter of seconds. Hell yes, you do have the right to say no, but who can decline such a request, or when love felt so-glaringly-blind at that particular time? The issue of girls being a non-virgin is much more serious than that of guys, another example of gender bias in this f**k,-you-said-this-is-a-civilised world.

The main point, why must we put this matter on the table, as a stake, if it had already happened in the past? You should be feeling grateful, appreciated and all that's good. This is because your another half is willing to open up his/hers Pandora's Box. They trust you, they are being honest with you, they feel you should know everything about themselves, even the dark side of their life. Jealousy can of course be felt, but you should always try to put yourself in his/her shoes at that time. He/she might felt that the past half is trustworthy, that's why they go for the adventure. It's not a really big deal, if you partner had lost it. Don't be fussy, don't discriminate or look down on them, don't push him/her away, and instead, pull them closer. Blanket them with more love. And I'm not an advocate of pre-marital sex, because I don't fully support it. The issue here is for those who HAD LOST it.

The reason that I dwell on this issue? To inform all the people out there, for anybody that had lost their 'most-valued' asset, it's not a measure to rate them. The most important thing is what's being valued in your heart. To fully love a person, you have to love who they were, what they are, and what they will be. For those that had lost it, get on with life if he/she was a bad choice, and be frank with your current partner. For those who knows someone had lost it, talk to them, console them, support them, understand them, pour more of your love unto them, lead them back to the right path. For those who still have it, learn to say no before marriage. God bless those who had , or had not, lose their 'most valuable' asset, to live happily. And not be Forever Alone like me. LOL. =p